Wine Cubes – The best thing since the wine bottle

I need you to observe something. And observe it good.

WineCube

This is a Wine Cube. They come in assorted deliciousness. This one happens to be pink Moscato. I love Moscato. It’s like apple juice for grown ups. Grown up that have boobs.

Now then. Each little magical box holds not one but TWO 750mL bottle inside of its compact packaging. And it matches my pink glitter sippy cup! Please note it’s not really a sippy cup. It’s an amazing cup covered in pink glitter with a lid and straw. And the straw has a lip on the bottom of it so it does not get detached from the cup!

Geniuses still exist in the world. Whoever thought of this cup design, CHEERS TO YOU.

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Tampons. Not just for blood.

These magical little inventions. These brilliant spirit concealing contraptions.

Now, from just the photo, I really think you would need to have all of them in order for this to be worth it.

I give you…tampon flasks.

Tampons

You get five of them. The tubes are supposed to be reusable but the wrappers are specified as ‘single use.’ I think that’s the part I find annoying. But that’s a small flaw for such awesome ingenuity. One shot per tube.
So you fill up your tampon tubes with your desired poison, put on the cap, and seal it in the wrapper. The cool thing about alcohol, is it doesn’t need to be refrigerated! Just throw in your purse and forget about it until that really shitty day at work and 5 o’clock is just taking its sweet ass time coming around.

I’m fairly tempted to buy a box because this is just a novelty item I need to have. Can’t buy it for about a week, though. So says the Lords of Amazon. Kind of reminds me of the rainbow test tube shots. I have those. I like those. Not portable though.

But this tampon thing also reminds me of a crazy story I heard about earlier this year. Are you ready for it?
Alcohol soaked tampons inserted into the anus. And then left to sit there and intoxicate the user.

Now whether it’s a real thing or not (I honestly don’t doubt it because I’ve heard of far stranger things), what is up with kids these days? What happened to finding that one cool cousin that had just turned 21 and talking them into buying you a bottle? For a while there was that hand sanitizer craze. I mean really kids? Really?

Alcohol is great fun and all, but I have zero intention of downing some Germ X or walking around with a vagina plug in my butt.

ZERO.